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Residue of Survival

The year 2021 has been a year of growth, to say the least. For me, personally, it has been a year of hard truths and reality checks about me as a person, where I currently am, and where I need to be. I have cried more this year about myself than any other reason. I am a person who does not like change. Change bothers me. I am the person that says if it ain't broke don't fix it. But how often is that statement a cop-out to remain comfortable? Often this statement is used as an excuse to not put in the next level of work to get to the next level in life. At least that's why I used it. This year has been a year of exposure to bad habits and negative thinking. And, if I'm honest, I hate it. The exposure has forced me to make changes. It's forced me to accept some things about me I didn't even know I was in denial about. Whew! But through tears, discussion, reflection, and more I've been able to adjust and see clearly in some areas that have been so cloudy. I realized that years of self-preservation had me blind to that damage of survival mode. What do I mean by the damage of survival? Have you ever known someone or perhaps yourself that has been in a car accident who survived but had damage from the seatbelt? Their chest may have been bruised, burned, or even cut from the pressure? They survived, but what protected them also damaged them. When we go into survival mode it is to protect us. We are trying to recover and avoid. However, in the process, we fail to tend to the damage that "protection" can cause. That's where I've been unbeknownst to me. I've painted the picture of thriving and in some areas I totally am. But all of me has not recovered from the survival. I'm exposing the residue and cleaning it up. A necessary change for me to thrive wholeheartedly.

Are you dealing with the residue of survival? Are there behaviors that linger from surviving? Yes, survival makes us strong, but it was never designed to make us hard. Think about it.

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